Love in Lesotho !!

The WhatsApp Shakespeare: Raye

A wonderful song for this edition. Considering that the main form of communication in Lesotho is through WhatsApp.

“Keneuoe, you need to have 3 OR 5 boyfriends! How else will you correctly choose who will be your husband…”

-My Sesotho Mom

Society has always seemed to favor monogamy, or, the alternative, is it may say unsavory things about your character. A stink that would follow you long after you have left that environment.

At least that’s how it seemed when I watched my peers enter the dating scene as we got older. An unforgiving game that I was always too scared to play.

I’ve noticed that some things, in the dating realm, have changed since I was young, and many more things will probably change by the time I have children of my own.

Nevertheless, in Lesotho, much like America, dating varies depending on where you are. But in the places where I have lived, in Lesotho, it’s been a mix of these things.

The majority of men I’ve encountered date multiple women at once, known as ratana in Sesotho. Even married men have girlfriends!

Most of the women involved are not aware they are part of these arrangements, to keep violence and conflict between the women to a minimum.

On the other hand, in many cases, men and women openly date multiple people at the same time.

My Mosotho mom says THAT is the way to go. And honestly… I’m intrigued 😂.

Her logic was sound. She told me that if I focus on only one man, I’ll be more likely to make him my husband simply because of the time I invest. The sunk cost fallacy?

Alternatively, if I have 5 men, I can properly compare them and choose the BEST one for me. Meaning I’d be more likely to find everything I actually want in a husband.

What a smart lady with interesting ideas.

Example! My brother here in Lesotho, who is 23, has 3 girlfriends, which my 5-year-old niece says are ugly. I did let out a tiny giggle when she said that. Kids truly say the wildest things.

I told my mom that having 5 boyfriends sounded exhausting. She told me I could have 3 instead, but that if I felt drained, I was doing it wrong because these are “trial runs” until permanence is decided, which in Lesotho means marriage.

“Ke tla ba le bahlankana ba bararo.”

So instead, I will have 3.

Well… with a slight revision of “3 until 1,” after we decide, we’re moving toward marriage.

This conversation left me so tickled. Hopefully implementation is seamless haha.